i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm like, not good at living.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
