I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
