Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
