I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
