Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
