Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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