how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
