We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
