i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's a Shit stain on my heart
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
