My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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