i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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