dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
