I wish I only lived at night.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
