i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
