you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize