You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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