Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
