omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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