how hairy? two words: wookie tits
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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