I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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