I got chris browned last night
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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