4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
now i know why i became what i already was.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize