All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize