this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i wish my penis had a tongue
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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