i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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