He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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