I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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