He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize