youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
