Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
