from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
