i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
