You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
