My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
