You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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