My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
