Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
