why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize