it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize