her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
