my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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