They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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