I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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