did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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