The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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