Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
