Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
