We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
