haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
