hell yes lets make some ravioli
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
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