I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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