Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
