I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
