Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
cat food counts as protein by the way
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
