This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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