she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
