Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
