I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize