At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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