You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
