Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Boobs are out for the taking
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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